Transformative Tales: Writing as a Path to Healing

Matt: Welcome back to Write Out Loud, the podcast where stories take center stage Creativity knows no bounds. I'm your host, Matt, and as always, I'm joined by the ever radiant, wildly talented, endlessly enthusiastic, and positively brilliant. Christina

Christina: Cue the laughter.

Matt: Uhhuh. Uh uh, hello my darling. How are you?

Christina: I'm good. How are you?

Matt: I am so good, so good. I mean, today we're diving into something that is deeply personable and incredibly powerful,

Christina: Yes.

Matt: writing can heal,

Christina: Yes.

Matt: right? More and more people right now, especially in this time, this day and age, there's lots of stress out there, right?

No matter what that might be. Whether it's just the world, whether it's finances, whether whatever it might be, there's a lot of stress and. Ultimately, whether it's journaling, writing fiction, memoirs, all of the above, just to process emotions or help find closure. You know, personal storytelling isn't really just about crafting a good narrative.

It's really about self-discovery, growth, and sometimes even survival.

Christina: Yeah, and when you sent me this topic, I thought immediately of several authors, not only that I've worked with, but even just interacting online. have talked about how, they put something into writing,

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: Into their stories, that they wanted to heal. But more importantly, what kept going through my head is you can write yourself out of anything.

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: And by that it's not just, let me write about my problem and I'm healed. But typically. The people that I know, the writers that I know are mostly fiction

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: and they put into the fiction stories, the things that, they wanna heal,

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: that they want to annihilate, that they want to do something with that maybe in reality they can't. You know that x that screwed you over. Okay. Let me write 'em into a book. What is the, the famous, I'm gonna paraphrase it, but don't piss the writer off. They'll

Matt: Yeah.

Christina: in the book and kill you.

Matt: Yes. I was thinking that exact quote, Uhhuh.

Christina: Yep.

Matt: Yeah. I think there's even, and I, and I don't know the name. I'll have to see if I can find it after the fact, but there is a therapist that. Really talks about writing about your situation or writing about your, your life or whatever's kind of giving you that stress or weighing you down.

Write about it, but write about it in third person. Write about it. This is what's happened to so and so. This is what they did today, right? This is this. And you can take all, even all the mundane stuff. It doesn't have to be, again, in a lot of a lot of cases, this is not necessarily for an audience.

This can be just for you.

Christina: absolutely. And I think sometimes when you're given the freedom that no one is gonna see this, you actually feel more free,

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: Know, allowing those vulnerabilities coming out. Allowing yourself to really feel what it is that you're feeling and let it go.

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: For myself, not necessarily like on the therapy side, but I actually hand write my notes, write it for this podcast, hand write it for classes.

I'm gonna be teaching hand

Matt: Sure.

Christina: for because there is something with the process. Of actually putting the pen to paper, writing out the words that is different for me than typing something

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: you know? And, it's processed in a way that, for the class, a lot of it's about memorization. And that memorization can't happen if I'm typing.

Matt: Sure.

Christina: it's gotta be handwritten, journaling, if you will

Matt: Yeah, there's definitely a direct brain connection. To just writing that out longhand. But I think if you think about those moments too, where you want to, maybe you've, maybe you're up against a problem, maybe it's something financial, maybe it's something just, an argument you're having with a loved one, family member, stress, drama, whatever that might be.

Taking that scene and writing about it again, maybe third person, maybe not maybe first person, but just writing through it and it helps you clarify. And crystallize your thoughts a little bit more so that you can break through maybe, whatever that is, and find a solution that will work. Right? Because to your point, it could be something that would never actually happen in real life for a number of reasons.

Christina: Yeah.

Matt: but it is okay in that, in that forum or on the other side of that maybe it is a, an actual solution. You come to that you're like, holy crap, this would work really well. So being able to think through those things and using different. Sense, again, touch, maybe it's, even if it's just typing or writing, but being able to use that and work that story out for yourself is, is a good way to go.

Christina: and again, what you were saying about that sometimes. When you're free writing your brain can come up with solutions that you didn't know were even there.

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: mean, when you talk about, free writing, automatic writing some people call it, it's allowing your brain to just freethink. And when you're in that space of freedom, sometimes a lot of the blocks come through. Things you hadn't thought of before. Like you were saying, solutions, that were not even in the realm of possibility. Oh, here, here's the answer to

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: issue. Yeah.

Matt: Yep. Yeah, there's a number of people that have written books to, and again, it's a memoir or it's a re retelling of the story. But think about there have been people like jc, JC Dugard even Elizabeth Smart, some people who have. Gone on to write stories about the traumatic things that have happened to them.

Again, as a way to process, but it is a story. It is, there is something that is also valuable for other people, even if they haven't necessarily gone through that same trauma, right? But they know, they can identify, they can empathize, and then maybe take something from that lesson that helps make them more resilient.

Resilient or just navigate life.

Christina: Yeah, there's actually a woman who gosh, I don't my brain is, is faltering. I, I don't know what, what we act, I think you would call it a venture capitalist, like somebody

Matt: Hmm.

Christina: in other businesses. It's actually the one who invested in Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop,

Matt: Hmm.

Christina: And some of those others. She just released a book last week. And it's called The Tell. And she was on the Drew Barrymore show they wouldn't even actually tell us it was, the trauma that she went through, because Drew said it unravels just like a mystery like you're trying to figure out because apparently she had suppressed this trauma and didn't even. Remember it happening? I

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: I have not read the book, so don't come after me if you've read it and I'm not getting it right, but I wanna read it simply because of the way that they talked about it. And especially I am all for nonfiction books that read, like fiction. But what was interesting is that here is this very accomplished woman

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: invests in other people's businesses that become, hugely. Accomplished and productive, but yet she didn't know this had happened to her. And she actually said, and this was my point, that she started journaling because she realized something was disconnected.

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: It was actually her daughter who brought it to her attention and said, mom, you're not real. Because she's perfect.

Matt: Hmm.

Christina: was the perfect wife, the perfect mother, the perfect business owner. And she talks about running, she, would run every morning, get up at a god awful hour and run. And she realized that she was running from something,

Matt: Hm.

Christina: didn't know what that something was. And so she started to journal. And it not only helped her heal, but when a New York publisher came to her and said, Hey, would you write a business book? know, because she's, and for the life of me, I can't remember all of the businesses, but there were several

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: that you're like, wow, she invested in all these man, I need her phone number.

Matt: Right.

Christina: Anyway, so yeah, so she wrote this and then New York came to her and said, we'd love a, a business book from you. And she said, well, actually I don't have a business book, but here is. This journaling I've been doing for the last few years, and the editor read it and loved it, and that's the book that was released. But the point is, is that this is someone who did exactly that. She didn't know what was wrong with her,

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: she took writing and made it her therapy, to figure out why her daughter would think that she's not real and why she's not connecting. With the rest of the world and whatever it was that, of course, drew said, we're not even gonna tell you what this is about because you have to read it for yourself.

Matt: alert, right.

Christina: Spoiler alert. Well, I also found it, and actually the reason why I really want to read it not just on on Drew's recommendation, but the fact that it's the first time in history that Oprah's Book Club, Reese's Book Club, and Jenna Hagger Bush's book club, are all doing the same book

Matt: Oh,

Christina: You know?

Matt: interesting.

Christina: So yeah, the idea that writing, can be therapy, that you can work anything out on the pages that, know, this woman, I think her name is Amy Griffin, G nine is her company. The idea that someone so super successful could take, the journaling and discover this, trauma that happened to her. repressed it.

Matt: Hmm. Did she? Oh, yeah. Because she had gone through, mDMA therapy as well

Christina: Oh

Matt: as up along with the writing. So she'd done, she had done some of the things to unlock that piece. Right. That helped her get in touch with it. And I think the, what I want you to, as you're listening to this, think about the fact that this is not, we don't, we're not saying you have to have this human humongously tremendously terrible trauma in your life to do this.

Right. Anybody can benefit from this, even if it's just, listen, I'm just stressed 'cause work is busy. Right. It's something as simple as that work is busy. We don't have enough help. I've got too much going on. I just dunno how to balance it all. Writing can be an outlet for that. We talked about the format of that being potentially maybe a first person, maybe third person, giving yourself a detached perspective for that.

You could also take the approach of writing letters and so you're writing letters to someone. Pick someone. Write 'em to Abraham Lincoln, who cares, right? The idea is that you're sending that message out, that you're putting together that story and you're telling that in a way that is gonna make the most sense, really kinda at the end of the day, you can go back and read it yourself and hopefully get something from that as well.

But I think this is just a, a tremendously powerful way to help move through a lot of those, those emotions. Sometimes we don't even understand. I think you'll find too, as you're writing them, you might get into more things that you're like, oh, I didn't even realize that that affected me as much as it did, so,

Christina: Well, I think it's also turning to talked about specifically fiction. So we're not talking

Matt: mm-hmm.

Christina: sometimes I actually think, it helps twofold. So if the writer is writing something in there like was an author on social media who writes really dark. Heroes, dark romances and social media as it's want to do sometimes was basically attacking dark and, morally gray characters and this, that and the other thing, bad people. And she came out and said, Hey, listen, I write these because I'm healing.

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: am healing from how I grew up, from the environment I grew up in. And, there could be readers out there that I talk about this with. And, they read my book, they feel a connection. They feel like it's okay to, step into something different. another author that I worked with, uh, she actually wrote, a, a loved one's mental illness into one of her books killed the character in order to kill the mental illness.

Matt: Oh, that's interesting.

Christina: little of lighting the fire, lighting the bomb. it's also interesting that, know, I can't tell you how many times I've heard from authors. their readers were helped in a situation because they, read something, from that author. I think it, it can be twofold for fiction. It's not only writing as therapy and writing as fixing your problems or nuking something that you can't fix or, healing in some way. That also then when you publish it and put it out there. It in turn becomes another form of healing for the readers, for the, know, person that may have dealt with whatever issue it was, and seen that, okay, this is the happily ever after for them and I can have my own.

Matt: Yeah. Yeah, I, I think there's also an opportunity there if you've got. Even just from a fiction standpoint, if you've got somebody close to you that's passed, I know there are several stories out there where people have used those people to keep them alive, right? Actually use their name and made them a character in the story to keep that memory going and keep that keep them alive and, and well within the, within their mind.

And it, it is an interesting. Exercise, I guess right in, in how you both honor somebody that's passed, but then also maybe help cope with the loss as well. I think it's a, it's another, just another version of, again, just everything we've talked about so far, right? Which is how do you use this creative medium to get some healing?

Christina: and I think that's the point. It's layers upon layers upon layers,

Matt: Hmm.

Christina: layers. It's like you don't, don't know how many people you are going to reach by, healing whatever it was in you and putting it onto vapor.

Matt: Hmm.

Christina: whether that is the tell, which is a memoir or a piece of fiction that, know, a reader connected with and was able to leave their abusive husband

Matt: Sure.

Christina: Was able to face. An addiction because the character, faced an addiction and that's why I don't know if you remember or if anybody in the audience remembers James, is it Fray or Fry?

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: A million little pieces.

Matt: that it?

Christina: Yes. Million little pieces. It originally came out as a memoir. then he later said he, you know, he

Matt: Yeah.

Christina: parts of it, which, once you fictionalize any piece of it, it's gotta be fictionalized. And at the time I was working in a bookstore and the assistant manager, her husband was an alcoholic,

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: and after the big controversy, she actually said, you know what, it doesn't matter if it is a memoir, truth or fiction. It helped my family. It helped my husband get sober. What difference does it make?

Matt: Yep.

Christina: That's the healing aspect of it. That's what I mean by layers and layers and layers. You have no idea, the effect you're gonna have. If it's something that , turn out to

Matt: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Christina: this Amy Griffin. Uh, the tell. She never intended on publishing it. She wrote it strictly for herself.

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: And then when New York approached her about, doing some project with them, she's like, could this possibly be it?

Matt: Sure. Sure.

Christina: yeah, the courage it took her to actually do that. That's why I'm anxious to read it.

Matt: Yeah, and I think there's two things that you can do as well to grow through some of the stuff that maybe you've written down. So maybe you're not, maybe you're not super comfortable publishing the entirety of it. Right, but you've put together a lot of thoughts, a lot of things that have happened to you.

You've recounted a lot of the stories, and maybe it's just not something you're like, I don't want all of this out there, and maybe you're looking for the perfect story that you want to tell, right? This kind of perfect fictional tale. Grab one or two chunks out of that reality and fold that into your story.

Make that a part of it, right? Because it's there's the, there's, I don't. Exactly. Remember how it goes. Uh, but there's that cliche of like, every lie has a little bit of truth in it,

Christina: Yeah.

Matt: right? So same kind of thing. I'm not saying, I mean, fiction is a lie in a way, but it's not a bad lie. We're talking about we're weaving in pieces of your reality into this fictional world that you're creating.

And a lot of times it can be much more rich because you are, you're writing from the heart, you're writing from what you know and experience, and that tends to bring a lot more power to it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Christina: Not just even identifying with our, own gender, but also putting stuff into, other characters opposite genders, uh, children, pieces of ourselves.

Matt: Sure.

Christina: Uh, I think, for fiction. that is one of the easiest ways to connect with your audience is making the characters real well.

How do you make the characters real? Well, they have aspects of your best friend or your spouse, or your brother or your cousin or your, whatever it is. And that's, putting real pieces into, the fictional

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: that, that in itself, Can be healing.

Matt: Yeah, a hundred percent. I think there's. There's so much there. There's just so much you can do. And I think when I think about a lot of things that have happened over the past few months just the amount of things that, filled me with a sense of dread for any given reason.

Christina: Yeah.

Matt: I just had a strong desire to create

Christina: Yes,

Matt: I didn't know what it was, but I just wanted to make something. So I would do some drawing or I would do some writing or whatever that was, but it just drew me into that because I could sort of. Maybe have a sense of control over that environment

Christina: Yeah.

Matt: to a degree, and then express myself a little more clearly too.

Christina: and I think any act of creativity is an act of courage. And in a time when you're going through such things, 

Matt: mm-hmm.

Christina: You need that courage.

Matt: Hmm.

Christina: need that courage. And so I, I know it was a creative somewhere along the line, this is not originating for me. but is an act of resistance in itself.

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: To whatever is going on with you. The fact that you are yourself the space to create and maybe what you're creating out of that. Will be some sort of definition

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Christina: to that time that you were in.

Matt: Yep. Yep. So all to say, make something

Christina: Yes.

Matt: right, just feel that draw, feel the fact that you. Whatever you're dealing with, just let it, let it out. Express it, even if you never share it. This is one of the best ways that you can possibly do that.

Christina: Do it for yourself.

Matt: Do it for yourself. Do it for your loved ones. Do it for everybody, right?

Because everybody benefits in some way. I.

Christina: Yes.

Matt: Wow, what a conversation. Well, if there's one thing we've learned today, it's that storytelling isn't just about entertaining. It's also about understanding ourselves on a deeper level and maybe maybe finding some healing along the way. So writing has that power and the power to transform on top of that, and it also helps us bring clarity to sometimes the messiest parts of our lives.

So thank you. Thank you so much for joining me. Thank you for listening, and if today's episode inspired you, we would love to hear from you, share your thoughts, your own writing experiences, or even just a personal story you've written. You can find us on social media at Write Out Loud Pod, or send us an email Christina at Book Matchmaker or Matt at write out loud pod.com.

So until next time, keep writing, keep telling your story, and as always, write out loud.

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