Mental Health and Creativity with Special Guest Big Robb

Mental Health and Creativity with Big Robb

Matt: [00:00:00] Welcome everybody to write Out Loud the podcast about writing, storytelling, and becoming the best author version of yourself you could be. I dunno if we can deliver on that last part, but we're gonna try. We're gonna try really hard. Let me introduce of course, myself, Matt Cassem, your co-host as it is every single week.

And if as always we have our lovely, beautiful, and amazing Christina. Hello!

Christina: Hello.

Matt: And today. You guys are in for a treat. We actually have a very special guest with us. This is Big Robb from Chewing the Fat podcast, and Robb is here to kind of talk with us a little bit about a very special topic. But before we get to that, let me say hello, Robb

Big Robb: Hello, Matt? Hello Tina.

How are you guys doing?

Matt: Well, doing well. How are you?

Big Robb: I'm good. Thank you so much for asking me to be here.

Matt: I am super stoked you're here and you know, for those folks just kinda [00:01:00] hanging out in the wings listening, tell us about yourself.

Big Robb: I am A A c creative minded type person. I I, I house a

podcast called Chewing the Fat. If you're not sure exactly what that means, that's just a southern colloquialism for having a conversation. So, uh, you know, I interview people from all walks of life. And the, the crux of the podcast is around mental health. I believe everybody struggles at some point through their day with or, you know, or in their life with you know, whether it be depression, anxiety, those days you don't wanna get out of bed those days. You just wanna stand in the shower and let the hot water hit you, you know, because you just don't feel like doing anything else. And the more

we have conversations about that, the more it does take away that, stigma. It takes the power away from depression because depression wants to tell you, you are alone. You're the only one that feels like this. And when you realize there are other people that have those days, [00:02:00] it's makes the burden a little bit easier. It makes the day just. It's just a little bit brighter. So I interview folks that I've met throughout my life. People that I may follow on social media from Broadway Stars television actors to folks that work at your local retail store. You know, everybody has those kind of things. So I, I like to lay out that common ground.

You find out interest, interesting things about people and also how they deal. With those days. And then we have a little fun too. We play a little game at the end of the end of the podcast they call Fast Five, where it's just five random questions you know, no wrong answers. So it's, so, it's fun. But I've been doing that for about three years now. You can find me on any other, you know, where you're listening to this podcast or any other podcast place out there, you can find it, or on the website at chewing the Fat br. Dot com. But I started the podcast because of those days that I was having.

It was, it was, you know, [00:03:00] it was the blip, it was you know, it was the time of covid. And it started to weigh on me. And my background prior to starting the podcast was in television and radio. And so I probably for a year prior to actually launching the podcast started the process of like wanting to do it and wanting to do the podcast and needing to get these things out. But. Depression was getting at me. It was like, well, you can't do that.

You can't, you nobody wants to listen to you talk. Nobody wants to, you know, even though I, you know, worked at radio stations all across the country and done voice work and television commercials and, and radio and things like that, it's like nobody wants to hear what you have to say.

Nobody cares. And so. I put these hurdles in front of myself of perfectionism. It's like I've got to, you know, have the perfect microphone. I've gotta

have the perfect podcast art. I've gotta have the perfect format and the perfect guest, and all of these [00:04:00] things. And it took a good friend of mine Travis Brown, to basically kick me in the ass and say, look, if you don't put something out, no one's going to hear the message. You don't know who needs to hear that message

if you don't ever say it. So,

so I was like,

okay, I'm hitting the big red button. I'm recording, I'm putting something out there. And after I did that, there was so much, just like, why did I wait a year to do this? It was

Christina: Yeah. Yeah.

Big Robb: such a release. So, but yeah.

Christina: You know, I, I gotta tell you, Robb, that that right there is just So important that I have to put you on pause because everyone needs to hear this. Everyone needs to all of these authors have that same voice in the head saying, what makes you think you can write a book? What makes you think you have a story to tell? What [00:05:00] makes you think anybody's gonna read your story? What makes think you know, any of those things? And in my industry I'm sure you've heard this before, Robb, too, start. Where you are.

Big Robb: Mm-Hmm.

Christina: It doesn't matter if you have the best microphone. It doesn't ha matter if you have the best computer to write your novel.

It is start where you are because once you start, that's it. It's like, you know that voice stops. That voice has nowhere to go.

Big Robb: Yep.

Christina: This is exactly why I wanted you on the podcast this exactly exactly where writers are coming from all the time.

So how was that first experience doing it? What, what happened after you started?

Big Robb: well the, the first experience I, my friend tra challenged me, he's like, do something today. He's like, I don't care what it is. I don't care how long it is, you know, hit the record button. And just basically, I, basically, it was [00:06:00] me saying what I just told you folks, you know what I mean? That it was like, this is what I want to do.

This is where I'm starting. This is, this is the beginning. And there was such a weight lifted from me because I hit record and I put it up on, you know, where the podcast goes so that people can find it, and then people reach down. It's like, I can't wait to hear more. I can't wait to hear more. You know, people reaching out and saying, can, can I be a guest on the show? I've got something I've gotta say that I, that I want to say. And then, and then it just kind of kept going from there. It, it, it was so easy to use the skills that I already had to talk to people, to interview people and people. Really trusted me with their stories. You know, I, I mentioned in the description of the podcast is like, we tell beautiful, messy human stories.

Matt: Mm-Hmm.

Big Robb: know,

[00:07:00] that's the thing is as you are writing the book of your life, sometimes you end up in these dark places. Sometimes you end up in these places that you didn't think that you were going to, but. There's always another line. There's another sentence, there's another paragraph, there's another chapter. You just gotta

keep, keep writing, keep, keep moving forward, keep living. And so people trusted me to help them tell their stories.

Matt: Well, and I think that's part of what we talked about in this is having you on is, is perfect because the work that you do and the the stories that you tell, the conversations that you have, right all, and the reason people trust you all stem from the fact that you are a genuine person. You are a very caring, empathetic person, and

That it just, people relate to you, right? They relate to the stories that you tell, the stories that your guests tell. They relate to everything that goes through. And again, we talked about the fact that we wanted to connect this to you are not alone,

Big Robb: Yeah.[00:08:00] 

Matt: right? And really drive that point home that there are gonna be days when you don't want to pick up that pen or type on that 

Big Robb: Yeah.

Matt: or talking into that recorder, right?

Like there are gonna be days because you just don't have the mental bandwidth for whatever reason to do 

And 

Big Robb: Yeah. 

Matt: Everybody goes through that.

Big Robb: Mm-Hmm.

Matt: Everybody. So what, what do you think, like from a creativity standpoint, right? People struggle sometimes because they are in that mind space. What are some of the things like just for you that, that you have done to kind of also get yourself out of that?

you described how you started the podcast that way, but you know, days when you just kind of creatively stuck, how do you work yourself out?

Big Robb: I think for me to, to get Past some of those kind of blocks and those, those stagnant points. I have to focus on something else. Maybe I read something from an author that I admire or maybe I, you know, maybe it's just something simple as watching a comfort show. You know what I mean? Veg out, grab some, you know, [00:09:00] popcorn, potato chips and just watch something that is mindless. But I can focus on, 'cause it takes me away from, from whatever I was stuck on. And then there's, there's something within that dialogue of that movie or a phrase in a book that, that kind of sparks that creativity becomes the muse so that I

can then continue on whatever it is. Or just shifting gears completely to something else. I started. This was kind of also in the, in the time of the second phase of Covid I started taking a pottery class as,

as someone who I, I, I, I'm an actor. I'm a voice actor. I sing, I perform on stage. I have things that I can create that are non-tangible. And so, you know, something like a podcast, it's not tangible.

You can't hold a podcast. I mean, you hold your phone, but you don't hold the podcast. So I have always [00:10:00] admired people that can create something with their hands, something tangible, whether it be woodworkers, potters, painters, painters, just, I cannot figure out painters. I can create, like I can manipulate a digital image, but I cannot like create something original. So I took a pottery class and there was something again to just. Switched my mind to a completely different set of skills. I understood what was supposed to happen, like mentally, what was supposed to happen. 'cause I was a science nerd in school and I'm like, all right, I'm working with the clay and the centripetal force and I need to, you know, do this, that and the other.

But I couldn't make my hands do the thing I. So it was the most frustrating, yet rewarding thing I'd ever done in that first class. The instructor

was like, Hey, what'd you think about it? I was like, this sucks. He's like, oh my gosh, no, no. I was like, no, I'm coming back 'cause I'm gonna get this. I'm not gonna let it be.

So, so changing gears to something co from completely different mode of creativity. Was very freeing, very like [00:11:00] zen and very like, allowed me to focus on something else. That also

then once I was done with that, I was like, oh, these other, like neurons started firing for other things. So, that's one of the things that like, that I do if I start to get stuck, I'm like, okay, what else can I do?

So I, I started, I have a huge collection of like Legos now as well, just For a different type of outlet. That's something for me. Physical, something that's tangible that I can put my hands on, that I've worked with, because otherwise all this stuff that I do is all audio based or, you know, video based where you can't really hold it.

So having something that is in the real world that I can say, here's the progress I've come along on that, or Here's the thing that I've finished, allows me to, you know, have a a different type of focus and to look away from what's blocking me.

Matt: Sure.

Christina: Yeah, that's interesting. Because I had something similar when I [00:12:00] started editing. I knew I wanted . Wanted to add a, a component to it. 'cause I could see that something was missing and it was that creativity and mental health issues. And so I also am not an artist that works with my hands. And I went to a paint and sip by myself, which Matt knows I don't do anything by myself. But the one goal that I had there was, I, I. I alleviated myself of any pressure

Big Robb: Mm-Hmm.

Christina: I knew going in my art teachers in school were like, you know, pat me on the head and send me on my way. You got your, you know, passing grade in art.

So I, I went with the intention of just being free,

Big Robb: Yeah.

Christina: and it was so interesting because I ended up sitting next to a girl. Who had that perfectionist bug

and she was not enjoying herself. And I thought to myself, it doesn't matter what I produce, [00:13:00] it doesn't matter how good or bad I am, am I being creative? Am I having fun? Am I opening myself up to something more to enjoyment?

know? 'cause I think a lot of writers struggle with being perfect with being You know, okay, I gotta hit bestseller list. I've gotta do this and I've gotta do that. And really all they have to do is connect with an audience

once connect with an audience. You know, then they connect with another audience because what happens to that audience that they're connecting with? That person goes to their friend and says, oh my gosh, I just read this book and I, you know, really connected with it.

And

Yeah.

So I think it's so important to go and do something. That you wouldn't normally do creatively you with the pottery. I've always wanted to do pottery. That's my next I've conquered paintings. I have like five or six paintings around the house. I love it. I'm terrible I don't do anything with the artwork except for look at it [00:14:00] for myself. But there's this element of, you know, freedom came with it, that when I came back to my other work. I was much more open. I was much more, I, you know, creativity daydreaming. I mean like all of that stuff just opened right up.

Big Robb: Yeah,

you, 

Christina: opened 

Big Robb: created other neural pathways that weren't there previously just

by expanding, you know, the parts of the brain that you use. Yeah,

absolutely. 

Matt: Yeah, there is. So it's, it's funny, you know, we're talking about this again in the vein of You're Not Alone. I was reading an article from NPR and Rachel Martin does a segment called Enlighten Me, and Rachel was interviewing Rishikesh Hereway, who is the host of Song Exploder super, super popular podcast where they basically take a song and they sit with the actual person who wrote and created the song and.

You know, did the song and [00:15:00] they break it all down, right? They break it down to like its little bits and even the creative process around it and what, how they got to the lyrics they got and the sounds they used and all that. And the title of this particular article was he was quote unquote, creatively dead.

Then he harnessed the power of boredom.

Big Robb: Mm.

Matt: So it lines very much with what you're saying, right? He says in here, you know, song Explode came out of a time in my life when I felt the opposite of that. I, I felt creatively dead. I'd say people call it writer's block. That's what I called it for a long time. then he kind of goes on to say the reason what he came to realize.

Now was, that was really about judgment. The reason I wasn't able to make anything was because I was just in this whirlpool of self-judgment. I was sort of telling myself stories about my own worth as an artist and or lack thereof. And so I kind of put the music aside for a while because he used to be and still is, but he used to be focused solely on making music before song exploded, became a thing.

And he said essentially like [00:16:00] he just, you know. Had this big kind of rise in his music career and then it just sort of stalled and he just put it aside for a second, started doing song exploder as that distraction and little kind of like side hobby and it just ended up taking a lot of his time and ended up reinforcing, you know, that the judgment that he had for himself wasn't really true.

Big Robb: Yeah.

Matt: thing, right? So it's just interesting, like people like that who have even this podcast and this career that are so stellar, have all gone through the same thing. This is all a human condition, right? That we all deal with.

So I think it's really, really fascinating that it ties that together so well.

Christina: Yeah. And that I'm gonna segue into What you call your second segment, Robb.

Can you talk a little bit about what your second segment is and where that came from?

Big Robb: Yeah, so the way, again, with that perfectionist, that radio background, I mean, I wanted to structure my show in a way that [00:17:00] was comfortable for me that I could record. It makes it easy for me to not have to do a whole lot of editing because we're just talking. It's a conversation.

The first part I. Is where we're getting to know whoever.

I'm talking about getting their background, what are they into, what were they into in high school? That kind of stuff. Where are they at now? What brings them joy, that type of thing. And then our second segment is what the podcast was created for. That's the mental health segment. And it talks about those days that we all have, and I ask every person the question. How do you keep the darkness at bay? And that came from actually JR Tolkien in Lord of the Rings. It was a line that Gandalf delivered. The line was, I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk. That keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love. And it just resonated with me. 'cause that's what I

was feeling. I was like, I was like, I feel this [00:18:00] darkness. How can I keep it at bay? And it's through those small acts of kindness and love, you know, we can, you know, choose to be anything throughout the day. And there's those signs, it's like, if you can be anything, be kind. It doesn't cost anything to be kind.

Well, it also doesn't cost anything to be an asshole either. But if you have

the choice, you know, be kind and, and that's something that I genuinely, you know, try to do in all of my interactions with anybody, whether it be family, coworkers, strangers to try to be kind. Because in my background, I've always been the fat kid. I I was the fat kid growing up. I was picked on I'm the fat guy now. I, but I, I learned to own that. you you can't hurt me with the word fat guy because I already own it. I took the power away from that, so I know what it feels like. To be [00:19:00] made fun of, to be hurt, and I don't want other people to feel that. So I try to move through the world in kindness and try and do small acts of kindness and small acts of love. And that's what the second segment of the podcast is about. How, how are you managing the thing, the dark days that you have? You know, sometimes I've had guests and they're like, sometimes I just sit in it.

I literally sit in the dark. And that's okay if that's how you have to deal with it. If you have to process it, you know, every day is not sunshine and roses. And if it takes you sitting in it to process that, I. Then that's what you need to do. But understand, you can't stay in it. And that's what they say.

They're like, you know, I, I sit in it with, you know, maybe a day and the next day comes around and then I'm, I'm moving forward. I'm, I'm not, you know, just swimming in the mire. Sometimes people say, well, I, you know, I have a [00:20:00] confidant, I have a friend that I can reach out to when I have those days. Either are other people that find other creative. You know, outlets, they find a way to focus on something else. Maybe it is writing, maybe it's journaling. And just writing out those raw feelings and, and it, it kind of expunges, it, it, it allows you to not keep it inside. You know what's inside. You get it out and now it's, it's over here on the paper.

So that's, that's kind of what that second segment is. You know, that's, it's what the, again, it's what the podcast was built around. But it's in a, a, a way that It's digestible for people that are looking for, that, you know, for, for ideas and ways that they can move through whatever they're dealing with.

Christina: I think it's interesting what you just said there too. I think in today's world for some reason, we don't want to feel our feelings.

We don't want to feel those things. So we tamp 'em down and by tamping 'em down, we're not [00:21:00] actually processing

Big Robb: Mm-Hmm.

Christina: We're, we're not moving through it. We are, well, I'll save that for later.

And then all of a sudden later is, you know, so overwhelming that you can't deal with all of the stuff. So if we were more able to recognize what it is that we're feeling, I've really loved the answer that the one person gave of just, I let myself sit in it.

Big Robb: Yeah.

Matt: Mm-Hmm.

Christina: Because sometimes we do need to allow ourselves to sit in whatever it is that we're feeling. Just being able to acknowledge, I am feeling sad,

am feeling depressed. I am feeling angry, I am feeling upset. You know, we don't allow ourselves to feel those things anymore,

know? And I, I think in turn, if we're not allowing ourselves to feel the bad stuff. How do we let the good stuff in? How do we let in the joy? How do we let in the, [00:22:00] the happiness, the, you know, um, you know, just the stuff that we really wanna feel.

Big Robb: right.

Yeah.

Matt: Well, how, how often were we told this kid's coming up? Stop crying.

get mad. Don't be mad.

Oh, get over it. Stop being like that. Like you're, I, you know, it's not, what you did is not, or what, you know, what they did to you is not that big a deal. Just shrug it off. Like you're, you're kind of told and taught, right, that these sort of more negative quote unquote feelings need to be brushed aside or need to be swept into the rug, or you need to over it versus, you know.

Nobody, and nobody ever says to you too, like, if you are happy, they're like, there you go. See now you're happy. Good job. job. Right? They don't really reinforce that part either. So by , sort of by extension, it's like, well, okay, I guess I'm not supposed to feel anything. We're just supposed to be very stoic 

Christina: Yeah.

Big Robb: Flat line, you know? I mean, and that's the thing is, you know, life is peaks and valleys, you know, I mean, they're, they're gonna come, they're gonna be those bad, there's gonna be those, you know, those meses where [00:23:00] everything's kind of flat for a while as well. But, you know, sometimes you gotta make your own peak.

Sometimes you, you, you sometimes trying to make a peak, you end up making a valley, you know? But as long as you can keep moving, and I think that's, that's the important thing, you know, like, like they said, yeah, I have to sit in it. But I'm not staying in it, you know?

Matt: Mm-Hmm.

Christina: yeah,

Matt: Yep. 

Christina: It's interesting too, I, I don't know who to attribute this to. And I'm gonna paraphrase 'cause I don't remember what the actual quote was, but it was actually about you have to have darkness in order to see the stars.

Big Robb: Hmm.

Christina: So, you know, sometimes, you know, when we feel those things, if we allow ourselves those moments of, you know, like you said, sitting in it we can begin to recognize when we're feeling that way maybe get to it quicker.

Big Robb: Hmm.

Christina: Not question so much, oh, you know, I don't want to feel this right now. Let's tamp it down.[00:24:00] 

You know, I think I. You know, again, I have to say in in, in today's world, more so than it was, you know, even pre pandemic, you know, I think the pandemic did something to us, but I also think it ignited something in us because I think many more people are talking about mental health in

a way that they weren't pre pandemic.

Big Robb: Yeah, for sure.

And

I think, you know, when we're talking about folks that are feeling a way and they, we are, one of the great discovery questions of the world that we were all had as a child is why you

can find out so much about what's going on with yourself. If you're honest with yourself and you just ask why?

It's like, I'm so angry. Well, why am I angry? Well, because they did this thing. Why did they do this thing? Why does

it upset you that much that they did this thing? It's a great question of discovery. Why?

Christina: Yeah.

And it helps

Matt: kind version of that though too, is [00:25:00] why would a reasonable person do what they did?

Big Robb: Mm-Hmm.

Matt: Right? It, it sort of helps you frame their actions if it's something that somebody visited upon you, right? Like helps sort of frame their actions in a little bit more, I don't wanna say positive, but a little more neutral way, maybe way.

Sorry, Tina, I cut you 

Christina: No, no, no. That's okay. I was, I was just gonna say, you know, if we If we don't ask the why, we don't get to the root of it.

And you can't solve anything unless you know exactly what the root of it is. And it's not that we can solve, you know, all of our dark days,

but if we begin to solve each one individually towards what they are, I think you move through it 

much faster. 

Big Robb: Eat the elephant one bite at a time.

know, I mean,

truthfully, don't, don't,

try to solve, you know, for, you know, 40 years of bad stuff. Just start today. [00:26:00] Hit the record button. I. Get the pin, start today and move forward one day at a time. Just one tackle,

one problem at a time, you know, and eventually you've, you've completed that.

You've worked through that other stuff, you know.

Matt: Yep.

Christina: Yeah.

Matt: So there's a question that I know we kind of were, we had in mind for you, which was, you know, based on that second segment of yours, what, what would you say is the most surprising or, oh, yeah, what, what's the most surprising response you've ever had to that question?

Big Robb: Well, I mean, I've had some people That have said, well, I don't, I don't really have, you know, dark days. I'm, I'm, you know, a generally a happy person. I'm, you know, and I'm like, okay. I mean, gen being a generally happy person doesn't mean that you don't necessarily have dark days. And if your response to that is that, you know, I. I don't, I don't let it bother me. Okay. That's, at least that's an answer. It's like you, you realize that you, you know, you did have a day, but you're the [00:27:00] type of person that you're not going to internalize that, you know? There are, I, I feel like I. Those super creative souls out there the, the, the writers, actors people in that type of world, you have to draw on so much, so many different emotions to be able to create whatever it is you put out into the world. You know, whether it's a character on stage that is going through something, you have to draw some of that from. From your previous personal experiences when you're writing character a arcs, you have to have that come from someplace. You're not just coming up like, you know, throwing a dart on the board and like, oh, what's that?

You know, you had purple toes. What? You know, it's like, you know, those, those you have to draw from somewhere and understand that it is a, a process, it's a tool for you to use it, but it's not something for you to, again. [00:28:00] Stay in, you know, I, I think of like, you know, Daniel Day lewis as gr a phenomenal actor, but very method and people have talked about how horrendous it is to work with him on set because he's, he's Billy the butcher and you have to refer to him as that.

And he's, you know, walking around with his cleaver and it's like, okay, cool. You put out some great work, but you are sitting on my cell phone and I just need you to stand up. I don't need you to say what's a cell phone? I just need you to stand up. You know what I mean?

Matt: Yep. Yep.

Big Robb: So, so just, just being able to say, Hey, yeah, that, you know, I have days and I don't let them bother me. You know, that was a surprising. Response. The first time I heard somebody say that they just kind of sit in it, you know, they just, they just have to sit in that, that darkness for, for a day or so. Um. You know, but they always said it's, you know, it wasn't with the intention of staying in there, but [00:29:00] it, but looking at face-to-face and then moving through it, you know, that was surprising to me because again, my way that I react to those days, like I said, I mean, I, maybe I do stand in the stand in the shower, let the hot water hit me till hopefully my flesh falls off the bones.

But, you know, for, for them to say, yeah, no, I'll just, I just sit in it and then I'm, I, I've had my cathartic. Time and I've moved past it. So that was really surprising to me. You know, there are, you know, like I said, talking to confidants, whether it be a professional, again, I am not a professional anything. So, so getting professional help. There's a place for that. Getting medical help if you need something, maybe there is a chemistry that is off in your system that, that causes you to think these ways. There's medicine that's out there that, that can help you. I am not a person to say that no method can help

because [00:30:00] it's, it's, it's all dependent upon the person and, and everybody needs a different way to get through these things, and they're all valid. Ways to get through this stuff. So whether you need the medicine, when you need to see a doctor, you need to talk to a therapist or just talk to a best friend, or talk to the voice memo on your phone. Again, just

to get the stuff out, you never know, and, and then listen to it back to hear like, Hey, what was I saying? Why? You know, and then you just kind of interview yourself to figure that out. I think it's, they're all valid ways to get through this stuff.

Matt: Sure.

Christina: And that there is a way through it

no matter what. It's a matter of finding the option that's right for you.

Something that we like to say here at this podcast that came from my author coaching and editing is there's always a door number three.

Big Robb: Yeah.

Christina: There's always a way that you haven't heard of that you haven't thought of is [00:31:00] new to you that may work,

Big Robb: Yeah.

Christina: and I think that's important too.

Big Robb: Yeah, maybe you gotta try door number one and door number two, and before you hit the

door, door number three,

you know, there might be a four,

five, that you gotta try

and because it's gonna be right for you, you know?

So so I, I definitely think not giving up is,

is the way to, the, I mean, seriously

don't give up.

There is a way that can help. You just haven't found it yet.

Matt: It's all about tools. And you were just talking about the different tools you can avail yourself of that might be talking to people that might be writing things down in a journal that might be asking yourself those, those questions. Right. I was listening to a podcast the Stories RPG podcast and they were interviewing Steph Campbell who created and runs ttr pg kids.com.

One of the things that really kind [00:32:00] of resonated, because Steph also teaches at college level, I believe. And in that, what what Steph does is, is has their students actually write down in a journal their progress as themselves as a character. they're taking like a third kind of third person point of view, right?

And talking about like, okay, this is where. This person is today, this is how they felt today. And this is, you know, one of the things they really want to focus on building this skill and this is what they're going to do about it. And kind of getting a different perspective of it. Right. Taking yourself a little bit out of it.

It's almost, it, it, it is a very mindfulness approach I

'cause when you think about meditation, it's very much the same way. You're trying to take yourself out of it a little bit so you can sort of just observe. But I think it's all about the tools, right? Whether that one works for you. I just think there's so many things that you can try, but the biggest piece of this that [00:33:00] we're trying to just impress is you're not alone.

This is all very natural people. You and people are going to go through this. There's gonna be people around you going through it, talk about it in your own way, whatever that is. Talk 

Big Robb: And one of the things that, you know, I try to, you know, tell, tell my guests and talk with my guests about is that, you know, you've made it through every hardest day you've ever had already. You're gonna make it through this one too.

Christina: Yeah.

Big Robb: You know,

it's, it's not more than you could do because at that time you, you know, I can think back to times in my life where I was like, or I was sleeping in my car because I was working five jobs and I was just moving from job to job to job. To try and support my family and didn't have enough money to, well, 'cause I was working outta town, didn't have enough money for a hotel room, so I'm sleeping in my car and I'm like, what am I doing? I had to haw a piece of [00:34:00] equipment that was in my truck to buy gas to get home, working five jobs. And I was like, this is, you know, I felt so much like giving up. So much like giving up, but I made it through that. I didn't give up. I made it through that. And you know, at that time I was like, this is, this is the hardest thing that I've ever gone through. This is the hardest thing, but you're gonna get through it. You made it through all of those other hard moments.

You're gonna get through these hard moments too. And you can, we can get through it together, know, you know, whether you reach out to me specifically, or Matt or Tina, or you reach out to whoever, or just, just the fact that you know that you're gonna get through it, that there are other people that have also gotten through these things. You can get through it too.

Matt: Yes, 100%. You will make it. You will. Simple. You just can't give up. [00:35:00] You quoted Gandalf in your, in your question that you ask. I'm gonna quote Thomas Wayne when he asks Bruce, why do we fall so we can practice getting back up 

Big Robb: Mm-Hmm. 

Matt: I probably butchered it a little bit, but you get the idea, the context is there.

 Not exactly a quote, but you know, hey, it works. But the idea is like you've gotta keep fighting. Because the world is more interesting with you in it.

Big Robb: Hundred 

You, you have those stories to tell. You're

the only one that can write those stories. And I'm just talking about the story of

your You know what mean?

Not, not just the stories that you are actually putting on paper. You know what I mean? The

of your life is, is specifically yours, and it is amazing. And the chapters that we don't even realize yet. Are phenomenal. I get told all the time by my friend who kicked me in the ass to get the podcast going. He's like, your biggest fans haven't discovered you yet.

Christina: Yeah.

Big Robb: Each [00:36:00] podcast that I put out, it's out into the world. It was, it will find its audience, it will find the people that need to listen to it, when they need to listen to it to get whatever inspiration or whatever it is. It's about putting it out there. It's not about, for me, it's not about, you know, oh, I gotta hit a number, or I gotta hit blah, blah, blah. That for me, that

perfectionist part is gone. It's about putting the message out. Whenever it, whenever it works there are days that I don't feel like podcasting. There are days that, you know, a, a guest cancels on me and I'm like, son of a, what am I, you know what I mean?

and and I may just not put out an episode that week. Or maybe I hit record and I talk for two or three minutes about something that's more personal to me. And I release every once in a while I'll release these, I call 'em bite-size episodes 'cause it's just a [00:37:00] short rambling of mine. But it's, it's, it's putting it out there.

It's, it's like, okay, the story changed, but I'm still gonna write it. You know, I'm still gonna go ahead and put something out there because there's somebody out there that might need to hear this particular thing. There's somebody out there that needs to hear this podcast right now, and they're gonna find it and they're gonna

find some inspiration from it.

Matt: I think even if If we challenge you as an, as a writer, right? And if, if you're out there and you're thinking to yourself, gosh, I can't, I can't do this, or I shouldn't be doing this, or I'm not going, I'm not good at this. I can't do it. Whatever those thoughts are, right? Put them aside. Think about it from this perspective.

story you have to tell might be the thing that helps you through that darkness. The story that you tell might be something that touches someone else and helps them through that darkness, and that's a lot to put on you. So I don't mean to do that. Just let it happen by natural, you know, [00:38:00] just natural happening, right?

It just happens. 

Christina: Yeah. 

Matt: doing it for that purpose, but know that somewhere someone might resonate with your words.

Christina: Yeah. What I often tell my writers the story that you are longing to tell. I. Someone else is longing to hear, 

Big Robb: Yep. 

Christina: and only you can tell it in the way from your own experiences, from your own background, through your own rose colored glasses that that person is gonna receive. That you know. And like I said, it's for me. Writing is all about connecting. It's connecting with yourself. Connecting with the audience. Connecting with a story. Connecting with an idea that needs to be out there. You know, Robb, you were talking about, you have things you need to tell. You have a message, and that's exactly what writers, they have a message. And the thing is, you don't even think about what is my message to the world? [00:39:00] All you have to think about is, what do I wanna say?

Big Robb: Mm-Hmm.

Christina: What do I wanna say? Because somebody out there needs to hear what you have to say.

Big Robb: Mm-Hmm.

Matt: Yep.

Big Robb: No, I think there's a,

there's a lot of pressure in that, again, that we put on ourselves for, oh, it's gotta be formatted properly, and it's like, oh, and what's the tone? what's this character arc? Or whatever. You know, maybe that's the opportunity you have to dive deeper inside and just, you know, write some prose. Just write, you know, that freeform writing you exercise that we had to do in every English lit class. You know, it was like, we're just, you just write what is it? Stream of consciousness writing. Just write,

write, write a page. Doesn't matter what it's about, you know, whatever. Just write something and then look back at that. You know, maybe that's something that becomes a. You know, [00:40:00] not that it's advertising or anything, but just a post on your Instagram. Maybe you just take it you just take a phrase that happened to come out of that and you put it on your Instagram or you put it on your, you know, wherever that you put stuff out for people to find, and that then becomes something that somebody needed to see at that moment because you opened yourself up to just letting it out. Letting that stuff that's inside out in a very natural way. And then, yes, you may take that and you take another piece on another page and another piece on another page, and then now you've got a different story that ins, you know, pieces of a story that inspires you to write something more proper and formatted.

know? 

Matt: Yep. It's all about 

Big Robb: Yep. 

Matt: Connecting. . Connecting with others, connecting with your thoughts, your ideas,

Big Robb: Mm-Hmm. 

Matt: and putting those things out into the world. And I am glad that we got to connect today, 

Big Robb: Me too. Me too. Thank you so much

for asking me to do this.

Matt: yes, it was. It's fantastic. And I think, [00:41:00] you know, we've, we've gotten to really kind of dive deep on this one and it was worth it every single second because I think it's something that we have to get good at talking about.

Big Robb: Hmm.

Yeah. 

Matt: And we have to talk about it in places we don't expect to talk about it. You, you probably picked this podcast to listen to because you thought this was gonna be how you learned to be a better writer. And guess what? You were right. Except this way we're gonna talk about it is through the mental health aspect of that, right?

Which is a big, big, big part of it. So think you, thank you. Thank you again from the bottom of our hearts. We appreciate that you're here, Robb. And . Tina, thank you so much. As always.

Big Robb: Well

before you let me go. Thank you

for the invite and let me say this to your listeners. If you are listening to this podcast, obviously you are 'cause I just said that and you're listening. So there you go. Please take the moment to give this podcast a five star review. Write a review on whatever platform [00:42:00] you're listening at.

Believe me, it means so much to us podcasters that you. Appreciate the work that goes into this, and it doesn't cost you a thing for a five star rating or to write a review, but it helps other people find this. When I talk about the soldiers going out into the world when we create these things to find their audience, you taking the time to share a post, to write a review? To give a five star rating, lets other people find it. And this is a very worthwhile podcast. I I believe in both of these folks that I'm looking at that you can't tell, I'm looking at right now and what they are doing for the writing community and for the community of just humans at large. So please take a moment wherever you're at and give them a review. I know they will appreciate it, and I will too.

Matt: Oh, 100%. 100%. Thank you for saying that and just remind everybody where can they find more of you, Robb?

Big Robb: Well, you can find my website [00:43:00] chewing the fat

br.com, and then anywhere you get your podcast, wherever you're listening now you can search for Chewing the Fat with Big Robb or Chewing the Fat. And you can find me there. I'm on Instagram chewing the Fat, br all of the places you can usually find me to an event in vr. VR stands for Big Round because. That's just how it worked. So, but please, yeah if you have a chance, take a listen if you like, great. Tell someone if you don't tell me.

Matt: Love it. I love it. And you will absolutely thoroughly enjoy the conversations that Robb has on his podcast Chewing The Fat with Big Robb. So thank you again. Thank you both. Appreciate you, love you both.

Big Robb: Love you.

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